I am so glad to see that you still exist. You write so well. I’m glad that you’re happy with your decision to leave Grad School, and with your current life. I agree that it is hard to be a young member of the Unitarian Church. I can fully understand the burnout that occurs while you are juggling Grad School and the leadership role that you took on at the Church. I can’t believe that I picked this entry to read while I glanced at your blog. Should you ever choose to come for a visit to a service, I promise that I will be very glad to see you, and you won’t get roped into any leadership roles. You would be amazed at the aesthetic changes in Channing Hall.

I do actually think hope can be a lovely thing but it does need to be taken with a nice dose of reality. Hoping for a today that’s better than yesterday makes getting out of bed a bit easier. But of course, hope in the absence of effort to actually make things happen doesn’t do anyone much good.

I think hoping for the best from people generally makes me happier than not doing so would. But, you’re right, that brings with it the problem of hope making it impossible to accept reality. Perhaps something like “hope for the best, plan for the worst” is a reasonable compromise.

The Emily Dickinson line “hope is the thing with feathers” was floating around in my head a lot this fall (despite the fact that the poem as the whole doesn’t really do much for me). After reading the Pandora’s box wikipedia entry I wondered if perhaps I should be thinking “hope is the thing with teeth.”

“Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different.”

I was reminded of it when I read your blog post.

The first time I went to the polls in Santa Clara County I was well-prepared; I had made all my decisions and made some notes about them so I could vote efficiently. However, it turned out that the ballot was just a series of numbers and one was expected to bring the election guide along with the corresponding numbers written down to know which number to punch. Yes, in Silicon Valley, one of the worst user interfaces imaginable for voting. The people at the polls patronised me saying with contempt that I had obviously never voted before. “No, I’ve voted in counties with sane ballots,” I made no friends by replying.

Between that and the ludicrously complex tax filing process — note that I didn’t object to paying the taxes, just being so confused by them that I had to hire someone to do it for me — I’m very glad I’m no longer a California resident.